Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Who's the Snake?

Blogger affirmative action: if you're a black conservative, you will be will hailed to heavens, no matter how weak your arguments are. Case in point:

In a recent post, La Shawn Barber makes a pathetic attempt to analogize Bush's use of Clinton to help raise money for Katrina victims -- and Clinton's subsequent criticism of Bush's leadership -- with the famous "scorpion and frog" tale. In so doing she makes a complete fool of herself.

First of all, as many people have already pointed out to her, it was Bush, the alleged "victim," who asked for help, unlike in the allegory, where the victim is the one who gives the aid. Her reponse is basically: I know I screwed up the story. But I like it, so I'm sticking with it.

Secondly, by changing the protagonists in the story into a snake and a man, she erases the key point of the tale: that the venomous traitor is so driven by nature to attack, that even certain death by drowning is not enough to stop him. Last we checked, Clinton -- the alleged venomous traitor -- has suffered nothing from his dead-on attack of Bush.

As long as Barber is rewriting classic allegories, might we suggest a more apt retelling of the story:

Ignoring a string of warnings about flying too close to the the shoreline, a do-do bird gets swept out to sea by a huge wave. Unable to swim, the bird begins to drown.

Suddenly, he spots a dolphin. He cries out to the dolphin for help.

Despite thinking to himself -- everybody told you not to swim so close to the shoreline you $%^&*#! idiot -- the dolphin agrees to ferry the do-do to shore.

Without saying thank you, the do-do flies off. He flies directly into the mouth of a volcano and is incinerated.

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